working = life?

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I’ve been working too long. Tonight, returning from the mail box, I tried to badge into my apartment… Then I realized I wasn’t wearing a badge and there wasn’t a key plate to wave it in front of.

Needless to say, I was glad nobody was looking.

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Poems from way back

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I haven’t posted in quite a while and I still don’t have time to come up with anything to say, so here are a couple poems that I wrote a long, long time ago. I don’t claim to be good at writing poems, they’re just my poems & nothing more. They’re not about anything spiritual or thought provoking or anything. All they are is imagery. Don’t over-analyze. I don’t want to tell you what they mean, but they do have meaning… a singular meaning per poem (they at least have a story). All of the following are copyrighted and all rights are reserved.

Without further delay:

***********

Fire in my Bones – 2005-06-01; 1:56am

I need a cold shower

To try to squelch the fire

The fire in my bones.

I’m losing my life

I’m burning from the inside

Inside my bones

Where did this come from?

Where did it start?

It must have begun here in my heart.

Then it grew from there

It flew from there

Here in my fingers; my toes.

My marrow is melting now

I can see your face somehow

Through the smoke escaping my eyes.

Like a dragon now

Spewing this fire

This fire in my bones

Let it burn.

***********

Outrunning Eternity 2005-08-15

Wading through the river

I glance to my rear

And I see the monster bearing down on me

No time to think, I tread even further

Step by Step and moment by moment

I pass by some — and yet too slow for others

I begin gaining ground

I’m outrunning Eternity

Until battered down by the impure waves, thrashing

I slip to the left, but do not falter

On I go and go

An explosion to my left, I can feel it coming

I’m surrounded

I must press on, though I know not why

It seems unending, unrelenting

I’m outrunning eternity

Close enough to taste, but I cannot sop

Silence

I’m lost

Too good to be true!

The darkness looms

Chasing me now

My eyes are clear

I’m outrunning eternity

Just me and the cows now

they fly as the pigs

In one fluid motion

The trees are thrown in pain

I cannot be slowed; cannot be stopped

As I outrun eternity

And only I streak as lightning

Through time and space

As I outrun eternity

***********

That’s all for now.

These do need to be edited and refined, but I don’t care. Don’t steal.

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Choices

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When I was a kid, I wanted to be a train conductor. I thought it would be so cool and so much fun to drive the trains. I had a model train for years (into my freshman year of High School, when I had to put it up in the shed, because we moved and didn’t have the space for it). I’ve always wanted to ride on passenger trains (like the old ones… with the big, pretty locomotives that just chug away). I will do so someday.

I was looking into becoming a train conductor this weekend. It was wonderful how supportive Rachel was. I never expected that. I thought she would think I was a retard or something and just laugh it off. She knew I was serious and thought it would be good for me (at least to get it behind me, I guess, but I don’t really know what she thought or why she was so supportive, but I loved it). It was a great idea. It would be fun and adventurous and I’d get to play with heavy machinery (toys for big boys) and lots of fun things. Its a big responsibility, but I dig that too.

Well, my plans came to a screeching halt, when I learned that for the first 12-15 years, you are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 (366 on leap year) days per year. You get a minimum of 8 hours off between shifts (which probably doesn’t happen much, you get a lot of time off, I think). I wouldn’t be able to do this and still attend seminary, so it is now out of the question and I’m back to searching for my dream job (Astronaut).

Yes, I am going to have a Computer Science degree from Dallas Baptist University in May… and No, being a Conductor wouldn’t employ my degree there at all.

*\**BEGIN SAPPY PART***

The point of the story is: Rachel Loves Me!

*\**END SAPPY PART***

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Turner Falls

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Well, Spring Break was awesome and my trip to Turner Falls with Rachel was AMAZING! (Though a Texas State park would have been kept up better… and the web sites were better). We want to go to Colorado Bend State Park sometime. Its in the works, but not until after I’m all done and graduated. Sucks to be back at school, but It’ll all be over soon enough. Maybe I’ll post pics sometime…

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License fees and GDP per capita

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Here is a link to a neat article that I haven’t quite finished reading yet. It is very interesting so far. Its about the economics of open source software in developing nations.

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