10 Ways to Ruin Your Next Disciple Now Weekend

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Tags: budget church Disciple Now humor youth
  1. Don’t pray. You don’t need the Holy Spirit’s help. D-Now is for fun and you can do that on your own.
    1. Don’t have ANY parental involvement. They really don’t need to know where their children will be or what they will be doing all weekend. Plus, they’ll just complain.
    2. Don’t get your pastor’s support. He’s old and he hinders the youth ministry. Don’t people know that the youth minister is the hardest working and worst paid person at the church?
    3. Don’t spend time with your wife while you’re planning the weekend. You have work to do and she just gets in the way. You can spend time together 3 months from now when it is over.
    4. Don’t keep track of receipts or other financial information. There’s plenty of money in the youth budget, the youth designated fund, and the student admission fees. This bookkeeping stuff is boring and really hinders the REAL ministry. You only have to be a good steward if it is your own money. All this is for God anyway.
    5. Plan “B” is for wimps. Be an “A” planner. It won’t rain. All your leaders will be there (and on time!). None of the host homes are going to back out at the last minute. “If you plan it, they will come.”
    6. Don’t do any marketing. God will bring the students to you, not the other way around. That story about the four guys bringing their lame friend to Jesus and lowering him down through the hole in the roof was a fluke. It really doesn’t happen that way most of the time. You don’t want anybody to know how much fun the youth have, or everybody would want to join the youth group. After all, if everybody becomes a member, then it isn’t “different” anymore and “different” is cool (see Five Iron Frenzy’s song, “Handbook for the Sellout“). Less students = less work!
    7. Toss the rules. Trust me, you don’t need them. A.) they’re good kids anyway. B.) Having rules makes them want to rebel C.) If we’re too legalistic, they won’t understand grace or mercy. D.) The ten commandments were for the Old Testament, not the New Testament.
    8. Forget the T-Shirt. The youth don’t need to have a visual reminder of how the Holy Spirit spoke to them. They don’t need to wear a hideous shirt about some event 3 years in the past either. You’re better off without the T-shirts. It will help the budget a LOT!
    9. Get some curriculum that looks cool, so it will hold their attention. Pay no attention to what the lessons are or how Theologically sound they are. Make sure it is watered down enough so that all the kids can understand it (No Child Left Behind, right?). It really doesn’t have to fit with your overall teaching plan. As long as it has Bible verses and makes them think happy thoughts about God, then it is okay.

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